From Me, February 2012


As I get ready to settle in for the evening, I turned on my DVR to “Nightline” and to my surprise, they were doing a spot on a 25 year old Porn Star.  They informed us that there are 370 million porn sites on the web that is a 13 Billion dollar business.  They are talking to this guy named James Deen (not his real name, it’s his Porn Name) and they inform us that he has a huge teenage following.  I find this all very interesting!!

They report that this industry have targeted and reached a new demographic – teenage girls, to which Deen has become their heartthrob.  These girls are on the program stating how young they were when they first viewed porn.  Some of the girls were so young they could not be interviewed on camera.

He also has a twitter account and blog which show you expcite material.


Here is what was on ABC TV “Nightline”



As everyone I know, and many that I don’t know, are celebrating their love for one another, my thoughts go to the 4th anniversary of the arrest of my son.   I will never get over the piercing sound of the phone as it rang in the middle of the night.  As I fundled for my phone, I was annoyed that work was calling me at 2 am!  Why didn’t one of the other managers in the line answer their phones.

“Hello” I grumbled, but it was not work – it was my daughter telling me that my son had been arrested.  I haven’t slept through the night without some kinda of help in 4 years.  In fact, some nights I don’t even go to bed and others I am up by 1 or 2 for the rest of the night, or I have so many nightmares that I am up 3 to 5 times during the night.  I hate taking anything to help me sleep, so I just don’t until I am so tired that I find myself being mean, not nasty – just unpleasant.

So, this holiday that I used to love to love, is now the one I hate the most.  And it is one that even with a little help I don’t make it through the night in peaceful sleep.  I will never, ever forget that night and the nights that followed.  They are still like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.  The only time I had hurt so bad was when my mother had died.  To this day I still feel the hurt not only in my heart, but in my mind.  I still hear all the loud sounds, for everything was so amplied.  And to this day loud noises scare me and make me jump.

Happy Valentine’s Day…..